YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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