ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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