She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
