Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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