I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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