I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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