great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
