Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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