i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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