i jhust puked up my retainher.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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