Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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