I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
