Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
