it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize