you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
