my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize