His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
