I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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