Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
