Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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