farters have to be the big spoon...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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