sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
