Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
