so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
