you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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