I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
