I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
