tell your sister to shave her snatch
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
