Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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