Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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