You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
