peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
