The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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