I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize