im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
