i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
