So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
