The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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