what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
