Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
