I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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