My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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