Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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