yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
