My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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