Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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