it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
