Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this boner is exhausting
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize