erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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