So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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