Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
