you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can Purell be used as lube?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
