another moral hangover. fuck.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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