So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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