Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
