ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
false alarm, still single
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
