She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
