did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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