I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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