Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
